Love is not a fight- Warren Barfield

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we answer in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for

Tears

So my family is in the midst of prayer. My body can't handle breaking down, but my heart is broken for the Sorviks. Tomorrow, er, today, at 1230 to 100 we are praying that josh's back is restored and that God heals him, and that there's no surgery needed, and that he can walk again.

Tonight i was finally able to cry to God. It took a fantastic roommate and a sad sad movie, but it felt so good to be so raw. 

Jesus' power and love have been so overwhelming in a way that i cannot and will not describe. I cannot wait to go Home. I know heaven feels bajillion times more amazing then here, but even if i had this feeling right now, forever, i would take it, knowing it was the love of my Savior. No questions asked. ok, maybe some, but only because i have so many.

Sleep evades me while i write this... but another prayer of mine is that we are able to share josh's story with others. to be able to go to people and say he is HEALED! my heart leaps in joy in the prospects of sharing God's love. May He keep this emotion close to my heart.

May God's love fill us so we feel like we may burst. i'd burst for God. or i'd sure be willing to try.

Change

So i am not a grammar nazi by any means, but a sentence i wrote is true, but bothers me...

"i am not as big of a fan of change as i thought i was..." theres something wrong with it... oh well...

so i was at the last party my friends will have...its a tradition thing, and it was really sad to be the "old" outsider... things change, and i think this is the first of many times i now dont want to graduate... i truly do, however, i dont want my family to move away... its just a sense of mourning, of what used to be... 

Spring Break thus far...

So this is my final spring break as a "student-student"... and i must say, it's been swell, but nothing out-of-this-world fantastic like a particular sister of mine who is on the beach in Cancun right now... at least i dont have sunburn...

so i started out by calling a dear friend, bethie, who lives an hr away, and got to hang out with her for the afternoon-- a b-e-a-utiful day, and we went shopping (ugh- more money spent- but it was worth it) and i got some bril ideas on decorating and being more thrifty! yay! we got to catch up which is wonderful too!!

i went home to the cities for a day, and met up with another friend, saw the neighbors and their gigantor baby... he's ridiculously cute, but a GIANT baby! (and saw their SEVEN other children...)

and now i'm at work! it's been quiet, which i love... oh, i also got those stinkin' taxes done! hurray!! now, i just have to wait for my return... ahhh... 

i found a free sewing machine from my grampa, and i'm super excited to get it, so i can start creating some masterpieces... oooor just making a big ol' mess :)

the sun is out, and the Lord is movin' i'd say it's been pretty awesome

Kind words

Kind words from a stranger, i think, make you feel more complimented then from a friend... at least, thats how it felt when the nice lady in the library (whose name i admittedly always have to check) makes note of an outfit you threw together at last moments. not thinking about how you look, they notice and makes you feel special!

1 Peter 3:14-15

Crossroads

Monetary success or struggling to eek out a living? If I stay, I feel that my wealth will not be in earthly treasures, but that family, friends and the Lord are who will make me richer then Solomon himself. 

How do I choose? Even if I do suffer for what is right, and I am blessed, how do I know the right place-- how do I fight, and how do I pray?

Fear takes root in indecision. but when you look, you see the roots aren't so strong; they indeed are the objects of weakness, and we are the strong ones- Beloved of the King.

So do not fear, dear one, for your decision is before you, but I am with you to be there to catch you, to be there to guide you, to be there to lead you. Emotions are a gift but can also lead you away from my eyes and heart. Lead with nothing. 

Follow.

Follow me and I will make your paths straighter. Not easier, because life is hard. But, as a child, I will be your Father. Wanting the best and loving you. Regardless. ALWAYS.

So decided. 

I AM.

Tough choices

Its something that has crossed my mind more than once... and here it comes again... it might be time to move on from my job... the politics and attitudes have made me wonder if i still belong there... so i will wait on God and see how things pan out.

Update!

update- FIVE chinese girls came over for tacos! not to brag- but they LOVED them!! i invited them to the Art in me, and they want to come!! Yay God! we talked about america and china for hours last night-- what a perspective change i got! they also found housing-- in a safe apartment where we know some of their neighbors!! so i'm just figuring out how to balance participating in the art in me festival and hanging out with them-- thats where i figure the family will just naturally help :D... you all are so friendly, that i'm not going to or be worried about them!!

to be continued!...

-A

The Library

So friday i was working at the library right before my shift was over, and a girl came in looking for some help. she obviously wasnt from around here, so i offered to help her.
i got a nudge to give her my phone and email address, so i did. which for me is rare. her name is claire and she's from china. (outskirts beijing)
i also invited her to the movies in the park that night. she's also looking for housing-- umd doesnt help! awesome huh? not much... 
so i also found her jumpdrive and held on to it so i could see her again.
so that night she called me and i went up to campus to give her the drive and she asked if her friend could come to the movie too. so of course i said yes. so Lin is the next girl i've met. she's from beijing and got to see the olympics!! so then we go to the movie, have fun etc. then we are driving back and amanda tells them we know all the other people we met that night from church (IV is hard to explain). they ask if we are christians and claire tells us she's interested in learning about it. whoa right?! but theres more.
so sunday night i called her to see how things were going and to invite her to dinner tonight (tuesday). so now three chinese girls are coming over tonight. yay! she then told me that i knew a katie. (well, YES but which one??) and her husband brand and baby maddie... i realize she means some people @ anchorpoint.
so i call katie to figure out this connection. 
claire's boyfriend goes to school in phenix. he just became a believer. his mentor knew claire was going to duluth and knew of the Navs (katie and brandon work with the navigators on campus) and wanted katie to look her up. so she did and they hung out on saturday and claire ASKED to go to church on sunday. so they went! i had to go to early church b/c of other stuff, so i couldnt invite them, but it was already covered!!! is that insane or what?! so God is moving in huge ways.... and this story still has lots left too...we'll see where it goes!

God is moving

In some parts of my life, i am either content or just ignorant of the things God has been doing. sometimes i crave to know and realize that i wont. 

sometimes, like today, he is waving a huge sign saying "here I AM"

at work at the library, i help a new exchange student. she's from china, and has been in duluth for 3 days, america for 12. so she is very new. we got to talking and i gave her my # if she needed anything. she and her new friend (also from china) came to a movie with us. the thing is, she's interested in church. so of all the people to meet in UMD, for me to be willing to give out my number (which isnt normal) and for her to want to find out about God (we're assuming) is incredible. but i'm most humbled that i'm on of the ones who has a chance to stand up for myself.

also an interesting factor... lately i've been questioned wether or not i'm a christian, or i like to say christ-follower... and i hesitate too much but at least i say YES ... i AM a Christ-follower. and will be. forever.

fame to claim?

so on saturday i got to meet and give a short tour to the president of finland... very nice lady, too bad i dont really agree with their politics (social democracy) but she was nice and let me take a picture! also our secret service gave us little pins... pretty cool all in all!

Books!

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.

The Rules:
1) Look at the list and put one * by those you have read.
2) Put a % by those you intend to read.
3) Put two ** by the books you LOVE.
4) Put # by the books you HATE.
5) Post.

*1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
*2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
*3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (Does it count if I've only gotten through Book 4? Probably not.)
*5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
**6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 1984 - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
*10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
*11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
*16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
*18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
*22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
**25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
*28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
*31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
*33 Chronicles of Narnia- CS Lewis
*34 Emma - Jane Austen
*35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
*36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
*40 Winnie the pooh - AA Milne
*41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
*42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
*49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
*54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
*57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
*61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
*64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
*73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
*76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
*81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
*87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
*88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
*89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
*92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
*94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
*98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
*99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

a real post?!

isnt it amazing what a few weeks can do for perspective... i was in ireland for two weeks for school (lets be serious it was a vacation...) and it was amazing. but thats not my point here.. i was able to get away from conflict, emotion and to see things as they are. i did lack in seeing in HIS eyes... that is the only way to see things truly as they are. but i digress. stresses like school, relationships, friends, money melted like a semi-warm day. not completely melted, but goopy and easy to see how they lost their harsh edges and pointy barbs. i was glad to get away.... made things not so bad. realized that he wasnt for me AT ALL. cured that right up... getting home made me realize that maybe another he could be. but not to get too crazy about it. it was good to have things clarified. i'm getting in trouble tho- traveling like this made me crave so much more... i want to see the world!

leaving for ireland in TWO DAYS!!

homework at 3 am sucks

Forgiveness

Sometimes, or all the time, we need to figure out HOW we forgive someone. that goes hand in hand with when, where, who and what for.
its tough... and it takes the grace of God to get us through it. it takes time for the hurt to wear off... but if you focus on Him, who can forgive us, then we are going to be ok.

Wise

Proverbs 25

More Proverbs of Solomon

1 These are more proverbs of Solomon, copied by the men of Hezekiah king of Judah:
2 It is the glory of God to conceal a matter;
to search out a matter is the glory of kings.

3 As the heavens are high and the earth is deep,
so the hearts of kings are unsearchable.

4 Remove the dross from the silver,
and out comes material for [a] the silversmith;

5 remove the wicked from the king's presence,
and his throne will be established through righteousness.

6 Do not exalt yourself in the king's presence,
and do not claim a place among great men;

7 it is better for him to say to you, "Come up here,"
than for him to humiliate you before a nobleman.
What you have seen with your eyes

8 do not bring [b] hastily to court,
for what will you do in the end
if your neighbor puts you to shame?

9 If you argue your case with a neighbor,
do not betray another man's confidence,

10 or he who hears it may shame you
and you will never lose your bad reputation.

11 A word aptly spoken
is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

12 Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold
is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.

13 Like the coolness of snow at harvest time
is a trustworthy messenger to those who send him;
he refreshes the spirit of his masters.

14 Like clouds and wind without rain
is a man who boasts of gifts he does not give.

15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

16 If you find honey, eat just enough—
too much of it, and you will vomit.

17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house—
too much of you, and he will hate you.

18 Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow
is the man who gives false testimony against his neighbor.

19 Like a bad tooth or a lame foot
is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble.

20 Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,
or like vinegar poured on soda,
is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.

22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will reward you.

23 As a north wind brings rain,
so a sly tongue brings angry looks.

24 Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

25 Like cold water to a weary soul
is good news from a distant land.

26 Like a muddied spring or a polluted well
is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.

27 It is not good to eat too much honey,
nor is it honorable to seek one's own honor.

28 Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control.

Blessed Easter!

Fan-frickin-tastic

I'm pretty sure i'm the type of person who is truly looking for more... i'm satisfied where i'm at in my life, but i'm always reaching for more... school, life, a husband, friends, money, everything.... being satisfied at where i'm at and searching is kind of a tough balancing act.